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| Memorial Day 2011~10 months | |
So, it's been a while....I never did get "The Good" post up. I had these grand ideas of pulling pictures of all the amazing moments from the boys lives to post in it, but let's face it....I'm busy making memories and chasing them around and surviving the never ending virus that keeps passing around our home so that we haven't all been well in at least two months...so all the ideas for "The Good" post are still flowing around in my head and will get onto the blog eventually....I promise. Those that know me well know that I have wonderful intentions and really grand ideas, but sometimes it takes me a while to follow through with them.
So, what brings me here today...well, remember that rare form of that rare genetic kidney disease Lenwood's big time specialist was testing him for...one week from today we find out the results. Our last appointment was in March. I didn't post after that because it was basically a check up and a blood draw for this genetic test. Since that appointment I've pretty much lived in a little land called DENIAL. I pushed thoughts of this disease and all that it might mean for this sweet baby to the very deepest recesses of my mind. Usually I'm a worrier and I'm surprised that I haven't spent everyday crying and worrying. I did do that for a couple weeks, but then I began thinking about last summer...last summer when I was lying on the couch on so many medications that I didn't have the energy or focus to implement any of those grand ideas I had to keep the boys and I entertained while I was on bedrest. Then there was the emergency c-section and the 63 day NICU stay. Last summer we were fighting hard for sweet baby Lenwood and it was a battle I'd fight over and over again especially if it would take away from his suffering. He is one of the sweetest, most social, loving, joyous babies I've ever met. But, last summer I feel like I missed so much of Conrad and Teague's lives. I know I was doing exactly what I needed to be doing, but this summer, I'm not wasting a second. I didn't enroll the boy's in summer school and we have big plans for lots of fun. We've already spent 10 days at my parents on the lake and in Haleyville. We just finished two weeks of swimming lessons and tomorrow we're going to
Birmingham Children's Theater to see
The Little Red Hen. No school this summer...just soaking up every minute with these three amazing boys while I can....only one school year left before Conrad goes to kindergarten and this sweet world of togetherness changes forever. Gotta enjoy it while I can. It's not long before a new stage of life begins.
So...all that was to say, I decided to focus on getting lost in summertime fun with my boys rather than worrying. God granted me peace and joy by sending this worry to the back of my mind. But now as THE APPOINTMENT inches closer I can't help but feel the worry and anxiousness creeping back up and the "what ifs" start popping in my mind at all hours of the night and day. Luckily, I've got lots of fun to distract me, but as I sit in this quiet house (all three are amazingly napping) I can't help but hear those little voices of worry calling out.
To add to that worry, at a sick visit Saturday, we found Baby L's blood pressure to be too elevated. Not sure why. His nephrologist recently changed his blood pressure medicine to a longer acting one since it had been running a little too high and this was the first time it had been checked since the change. Not sure if we didn't have the dose just right or if something is getting worse. I just don't know. At our last visit with Dr. Benfield there was no extra protein in his urine which was a first (likely due to him taking Diuril) and his kidneys are both normal size. So there's good and not good. Today, although the bad is nagging at me, I will focus on the good and the power of prayer and miracles and although we've had far more than we deserve, this baby...this sweet amazing baby deserves as many miracles as he needs so I will pray and I will ask you to pray for another miracle for precious Lenwood. I don't know what it will mean if this test is positive. The doctor won't tell us and since he would only be the 6th diagnosis in the world, I can't google it. So I'm praying for the ultimate miracle....kidneys that heal so that this baby doesn't have to take all these medications, doesn't have to endure the effects of high blood pressure beginning in infancy, and doesn't suffer through kidney failure and a kidney transplant. I will trust in our amazing God because only he knows the plan and I will pray.
It has been a while and this sweet boy has grown. He'll be 11 months old in a few days...where in the world has it gone? Here are some pictures of this sweetheart!
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| FIVE GENERATIONS |
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| Lenwood's Baptism 6/12/11 |
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| Lenwood's baptism |
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Mother's Day with Guy's Granny
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| More pics to come later...going on a date with my amazing husband tonight! |
